Hey Leute,
Ich bin in der neunten Klasse und schreibe Montag eine Englischarbeit , da muss ich u.A. einen Text über meine Zukunft schreiben.
Damit habe ich heute schonmal begonnen, es wäre toll wenn ihr ihn einmal auf Fehler überprüfen könntet




ganz liebe Grüße

Irii

hi Iri, hier die korrektur... hoffe ich hab nichts übersehen


In my future life I’d like to live in Hamburg, because of the sea, the music and the peoples behaviour and lifestyle.
But first I have to finish the secondary school and then get my A-levels at the “Widukind-Gymnasium”.
In Hamburg I’d like to study journalism and german language, to be a successful journalist at the newspaper ‘die Zeit’.
I’m good at writing and interested in actual political events, so this would be a great opportunity for me.
In my private life I’d like to get involved in the protection of animals and our environment by taking part in different groups.
If I get the chance I’d like to play guitar in a band, organize concerts and play theater in the biggest theaters in Germany and maybe all over the world.
Also, I’d like to live in a flat in the centre of the city with a small garden in front of it.
When I get older I’d like to marry my actual boyfriend and move to a bigger house in a calmer part of the city.
At the age of thirty, I want to have two kids with him too, but just if we have enough money and feel ready for it.
Travelling to Turkey and other sunny countries is also one of my most important future plans, just as learning a new language, for example Spanish.
If I still have free time I’d love to do extreme sports like bungee jumping or kite surfing.
I hope that all those things that I’ve planned for my future will come to true and I’m sure they will, if I work hard enough.



Du setzt ganz schön viele Kommas, die unnötig sind... im englischen ist es anders als im deutschen mit der kommasetzung... ich würde dir noch empfehlen, die abkürzungen wegzulassen (zb I`d like... schreib lieber i would like... ist immer besser in arbeiten)

danke